Monday, 14 March 2016

Train



The clouds gather together
Only letting the moonlight 
cut through.

Black smoke lifts out of the train 
It rises like a dark soul lifting away
to the moon in a fairytale.

The light leads the way
guiding the the train safely till morning 
It stays concentrated on the track.

My town shines bright 
and gives warmth to me as it wraps me
with its cosy blanket.

The darkness takes over 
as the town light starts to fade away 
it leads away to darkness.

The bridge creaks as it 
balances on its 
tippy toes 
Goose bumps rise up 
all over my arms.

Questions pop into my head.
Will the bridge break?
Where's the joy?
Who blew away my light in my eyes?

My heart beats once more.



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In this poem I am learning to use similes and metaphors. I think my poem is multistructural because I have used metaphors and similes a couple of times in my poem. My next step is to relate it to something that has happened to me.

1 comment:

  1. Good job Mana
    I really like the way you described this piece of writing it a a dark, moonlight theme I like how you used the word black smoke and how described it as a black soul drifting away. My favourite part of this was when you said
    "My town shines bright and gives warmth to me as it wraps me with its cosy blanket."
    I could really see in my mind a girl sleeping in a train.
    Keep up the good work.

    ReplyDelete